i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
ok first of all what the fuck
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