idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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