Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
