so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
