I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
