im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
