You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
