in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's blow job season.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
