My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
