I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
