Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
