I'm going to jail i love you
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My bed smells like the plague
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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