Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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