At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm bleeding and have questions
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
