C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
