I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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