Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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