your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize