remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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