ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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