You really coming over, don't trick.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize