I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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