He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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