i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
