it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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