Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
