great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
