Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
