i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize