I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
