I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
