it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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