idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
