girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
