she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
