Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
