Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Michael Bay diarrhea
home. puking in laundry basket.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Randomize