so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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