remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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