Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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