We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
