You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
