We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
