just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
