remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
