So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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