So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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