I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
