it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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