I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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