we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
