it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
