well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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