It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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