it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize