He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
