I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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