Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
