all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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