So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
