sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
