She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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