yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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