i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize