just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
