I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she woke up with a sticky ear
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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