dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
