We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
