i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
