Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
