what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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