singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
