Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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