I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
