dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
