so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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