if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
