I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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