we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
