you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
