his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize