You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize