I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
